school is really killing me....i dont know why...

its like i have never been so burnt out throughout 

my 1 and a half years in poly...i have been waking up

in the middle of the night sweating profusely, and

worrying about assignments which i have completed

and not completed....mum, nagging incessantly over

the smallest of things..she is really making things a lot

worst for me...sometimes i dont dare tell her anything

for fear that she will start screaming and then i get more

pressurized...i find myself engulfed with fear in the middle

of the night as i do my work...feeling empty inside me..suddenly my

mind blanks out and i dont know what to do....

my mum was the one who wants me to go to poly, however time and again

i know that deep inside she wished so badly that i was in JC instead.....its so obvious

from the way she speaks...she asked me how this person did for O levels and when i told

her she said wow look at how smart the person, unlike u, ur life is a mess, i dont know

what u are doing...

lets go back to the main reason why i am stressed..maybe its because i know that 

i am not too bright therefore since i am blessed with a skill, i am trying to major in

it and do my best, maybe because i am trying to pick myself up and prove to myself

that i can do something in life, maybe because compared to others, i dont have it easy.

actually i am sick and tired of what my mum thinks anymore...i shouldnt care and just

take pride in what i am doing...after all its my future...

shut up just shut up.